• About Me
  • Books for Writers
  • Contact
  • Genealogy
  • Latest News
  • Novels
    • Mr Cavell’s Diamond
    • The Daughters of Red Hill Hall
    • The Drowned Village
    • The Emerald Comb
    • The Forgotten Secret
    • The Girl from Ballymor
    • The Pearl Locket
    • The Secret of the Château
    • The Stationmaster’s Daughter
  • Short Stories
    • Shortcut Through Time
  • The Forgotten Gift
  • The Girl from Bletchley Park
  • The Girl with the Emerald Flag
  • The Lost Sister
  • The Storm Girl
  • Work in Progress

Kathleen McGurl

~ Where past and present collide…

Kathleen McGurl

Tag Archives: Mum

Mum

13 Saturday Jun 2015

Posted by kathmcgurl in Uncategorized

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

Mum

Over a month since I posted here. I do apologise but other things have taken priority.

My Mum had been in and out of hospital all year, mostly in. In early May I was busy trying to prepare for her discharge, which finally happened but was a disaster, and within 4 days she was back in hospital again. I realised she probably wouldn’t be able to cope in her own flat and I’d need to look for a care home… when she got better again.

But this time her chest infection did not respond to antibiotics. Mum had her 80th birthday in hospital on 26th May – we took a cake and some prosecco in, and the dozens of cards which had arrived for her to open. She enjoyed this – as much as it’s possible to enjoy a birthday while in hospital.

A few days later the hospital called me to say she’d had a very bad turn. I went to see her and was told to be prepared for the worst. My brother arrived. We spent the next 4 days at her bedside. I slept overnight at the hospital in special accommodation for relatives. Mum spent these days sometimes sleeping, sometimes awake, trying to talk to us with clearly a lot on her mind. It was hard to make out what she was trying to say but we did our best. My cousins visited, bringing Mum’s brother to see her. We all knew it’d be the last time.

Early morning on 4th June I walked across from the accommodation block to Mum’s ward, in sunshine and with the birds singing, and I knew that would be the day. Around lunchtime Mum made it clear she’d had enough, and I asked the hospital staff to stop treating her except for pain relief. Mum pulled her oxygen tube off herself.

My brother and I sat with her till the end, holding a hand each. It was the most difficult thing I have ever done, but I hope we eased her journey. She died at 4pm. She was ready to go, and had been in control of the end, and died with her children at her side. I suppose that is as good a way to go as any.

Weymouth 020

The days since then have been taken up with all the necessary practical arrangements. We have held a celebration of Mum’s life for all her friends in her local church. There’s a cremation service for family only in a few days time. I’ve begun the process of notifying companies and banks etc.

I wrote the eulogy for Mum, which was read by a family member at the service last Thursday. It was a difficult thing to write but I wanted to do her proud. This is not the place to publish the whole thing, but I’ll share this paragraph from near the end. My mum was a very special person, and will be missed by very many people.

Maureen had what you might call a butterfly brain. She’d alight on one topic of conversation, then be distracted by the pretty colours of another topic, and off she’d fly. It was sometimes a hard job to keep up with her, but we all loved her for it. She was a magpie, drawn to bright colours and shiny things. She was our ‘bird of paradise in her bright plumage,’ said one friend. She could be exasperating at times but was always upbeat and positive. She could drive you mad while at the same time you’d be full of respect for her. She would remember people’s birthdays but forget how to use her mobile phone. She would look after everyone else but not herself. She was warm and caring and an inspiration to many.

I find it hard to believe she is gone. I know it’ll get easier over time but right now I miss her immensely. I wanted to ask her opinion on how many people to cater for at her memorial service last Thursday. I wanted to phone her afterwards and tell her all about it.  I want to show her all the letters and cards I’ve received. Although I had the time to say goodbye I still wish I could hold her hand and kiss her cheek one last time.

Advertisement

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 245 other subscribers

Blog post categories

  • Blogging (14)
  • Books (70)
  • Campervan (6)
  • Challenges (2)
  • Competition (1)
  • Free Download (1)
  • Goals (7)
  • Holiday (4)
  • News (1)
  • Running (2)
  • Uncategorized (40)
  • Writing (39)

Tags

Alps book book deal books bournemouth Carina characters charity Christmas cock-up Competition covers CreateSpace Daughters of Red Hill Hall editing Emerald Comb endings English language free Genealogy Gertie Ghost Stories Girl from Ballymor goals good news grammar Hengistbury Head how to inspiration Lake District Melvyn Bragg middle third Morgen Bailey motivation mountains Mr Cavell's Diamond Mum nanowrimo New Years Resolution novel Pearl Locket pier to pier planning podcast poll pretty things projects Promotion recommendations review RNA Running Sales self-publishing short stories Simon Armitage skiing storm swimming The Drowned Village The Forgotten Gift The Forgotten Secret The Girl from Ballymor The Girl from Bletchley Park The Lost Sister The Secret of the Chateau The Stationmasters Daughter Tignes time time management weekend work-in-progress writers block Writing writing advice

Archives

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Pages

  • About Me
  • Books for Writers
  • Contact
  • Genealogy
  • Latest News
  • Novels
    • Mr Cavell’s Diamond
    • The Daughters of Red Hill Hall
    • The Drowned Village
    • The Emerald Comb
    • The Forgotten Secret
    • The Girl from Ballymor
    • The Pearl Locket
    • The Secret of the Château
    • The Stationmaster’s Daughter
  • Short Stories
    • Shortcut Through Time
  • The Forgotten Gift
  • The Girl from Bletchley Park
  • The Girl with the Emerald Flag
  • The Lost Sister
  • The Storm Girl
  • Work in Progress

Blog Stats

  • 33,641 hits

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Kathleen McGurl
    • Join 245 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Kathleen McGurl
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...